"Would you be interested?"

« perhaps. »

"I know I'm asking a lot of you. I can't offer you a long-term commitment - not even one that will last you through the summer. I don't want to pretend to be something I'm not, and I don't want you to get your hopes up. I see our relationship as being intense, but in the end, only temporary. In a few months, I'll have to move on."

« it would be foolish to hope for more. at least you are being honest. »

"Shall we see if we fit?"

« it wouldn't hurt. »

Slatted doors, unlockable locks, and a moment of truth. Did it? Would it? —ahh, yes. Easily, even. I turned around and faced myself in the mirror - me, in a Little Black Dress.

« i think i should come home with you, » it whispered in a seductive little voice for my ears only.

"I think you should, too. I have tickets to a jazz concert on Friday, and the only two dresses I have that fit right now are clearly winter dresses."

« it is spring. show some leg. »

"You realize I haven't been able to walk into a petites section of a store to buy a dress in well over a decade, right?"

« nevertheless, we fit. »

* * * * *

For normal-sized women, shopping for a dress is a pleasurable courtship dance, conducted in the space of an afternoon. Fall into the uncharted hinterlands of Plus Sizes? Good luck - if you want something even remotely tasteful or well-made, prepare to spend a great deal of time in research and fruitless try-ons.

Total time spent shopping for, trying on, and paying for the dress?

Ten minutes.

I don't even mind that it seems to be sentient. Hopefully it likes jazz.