To the humans reading this missive, We send casually-meowed greetings and salutations. We recognize that the visitors to Our domicile wish to receive only the best of care from Our humans for the duration of their stay, and We are pleased to announce the results of Our ongoing quality-check program.
Prior to all guest arrivals, We thoroughly investigate the sheet situation of all guest beds in order to assure our guests a 100% mouse-free experience. We simply will not tolerate even the merest whisper of a hint that We might inflict any but the best of mouse-free experiences on Our tolera….uhhhh, beloved guests.
(We'd stand behind the guarantee…but that'd mean We'd have to wake up.)
Click on the following photo to see a demonstration of Our quality-control procedures at work:
In the meantime, enjoy your stay. While you're at it, human, bring Us some of that lovely fresh catnip the female one is growing out by the front porch. We know it's there. We just can't figure out how to unlock the front door to get to it. Oh, yeah, and don't wake Us up while We're napping.
Also, don't move Our blankets. Those are functional, not ornamental.
Also, feel free to join in the regular care rotation to ensure that We are fed and watered whenever We demand it. It will greatly add to the joy of your visit.
No, really, enjoy your stay! As long as it doesn't interfere with Our lives, that is. Can't have that.
- The Feline Management