Plague rats swimming in the betting pool

I spoke with one of the nurses at my GP's office today, and I will be seen this afternoon. They're concerned at how long this mystery illness has held on, and I [unfortunately?] made the mistake of coughing while I was on the phone.Apparently I have the unmistakable rattle of Peruvian Death Flu.

So! In the true spirit of this website, and my sick sense of humor … place your bets. What do I have? Bonuses for creativity of answer or whatever I feel is worthy of a bonus (or just not coughing on).

I'll also know which of you aren't getting any work done today, because it IS a weekday.

C'mon, make my day interesting. Coughing-as-entertainment got old twelve days ago.

I'd also like to note that it really sucks to listen to Earth Wind & Fire while not being able to sing along. Grr!

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I'm going to go ahead and rule out prostratisis and just guess Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy.

I stand by my original diagnosis of Peruvian Death Flu! (and even odds between bronchitis and pneumonia)

Well, sure, if you wanna go with *plausible* diseases instead of humorous ones, then you're probably right. Not that either bronchitis or pneumonia is fun. "Anybody got any aspirin? I think I got a cold." And a chill filled the room.

Denis Leary ... appropriate for any discussion of illness ;) Not to mention we've been quoting the same damn routine to each other since we were in high school. You'd think we'd grow up and move on, but that would require effort, which we are both opposed to.

Hm, if it's H5N1 please don't breathe on anybody I'm likely to see.... Perhaps you have tuberculosis. There *is* a pneumatic coughing version of The Plague, isn't there?

I'm gonna say the Black Death - I always figured you for a classicist at heart. :)

I vote the good ol' flu... No one gave you Avian Flu, did they?

... have you had any kitty-kisses prior to the onset of this plague? I'm suspecting the Brothers Fang as carriers here.

One word: panspermia.

...and now we know. So much for plague and tuberculosis. Boring old bronchitis. But mad cow disease would've been fun. Especially the mooing. ;)