You must be this tall to ride this ride
Proposal for Contract For New Website Owners, herein to be referred to as "You Must Be This Tall To Ride This Ride" or "Hey Idiot" for short.Whereas, the population of coder-type folk have noticed an alarming increase in personal websites, and
Whereas, given that the population of the planet is only allowed a fixed amount of intelligence spread across all personal websites and,
Whereas, the likelihood of security failures increase as the number of personal sites (running on scripts beyond their maintainers' technical expertise) grows, and
Whereas, the owner of domesticat.net was silly enough many months ago to post a tutorial that appears to have aided in convincing some new website owners to try out new code projects that they simply are not ready for, therefore driving up the possibility of security failures and random acts of idiocy, we propose the following two Amendments to the unwritten Rules governing the design, maintenance, and administration of personal websites.
- That one certain domesticat shall seek professional mental help before attempting to unleash more scripts upon the all-too-eager population and
That all prospective website owners will be responsible for signing a copy of the following release form, triplicate copies of which shall be stored in conveniently inaccessible bomb shelters near you:
"Attention Website Owners!
As they say in the carnivals, You Must Be This Tall To Ride This Ride! In order to assure the safety and health of BOTH the site owners and readers, you must agree to abide under the following conditions.
You, the website owner (hereinafter referred to as 'You'), shall…
- agree to cease both the design and promotion of Your website if the Impartial Website Jury determines that a simple majority (i.e., 50.1%) of Your self-esteem is derived by the existence and/or popularity of Your site.
- Open Source
- web design
- Your horrific childhood
- Your need for psychiatric (or psychotropic) medications
- intimate details of Your sex life
- Your loathing of any aspect of Your life, if entries are determined to be mostly free of capitalization and punctuation
agree to not install scripts that You do not understand, with the understanding that You are responsible for maintenance and repair if unforeseen problems occur.
be liable for all sleep deprivation and parse errors incurred by Sysadmins while being forced to repair the damage Your actions described in 2) have caused.
agree never to create an actual link to goat.cx, on penalty of immediate evisceration
shall only make pronouncements about the future of
after agreeing to take permanent residence in the Lightly-Chlorinated Gene Pool.
agree to feed and clothe a starving psychiatrist by providing him/her with the sole access to all entries regarding
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I think that will do quite nicely, actually. Hopefully I haven't forgotten anything.