There is absolutely nothing fishy about this story

I've left a tab for this article open on my laptop ever since I first read it.  I wasn't sure if I should just tag it on delicious so it would show up on, but you know what?  This is just too damned weird to leave unacknowledged.  For the non-squeamish, (you've been warned!) or just those who delight in the foibles of human nature and/or northern Alabama, read on from this article:


Athens man says ex-girlfriend put a needle in his privates

ATHENS - A man who fell asleep while drinking with his ex-girlfriend woke up a few hours later to find a six-inch crochet needle in his penis.

The 45-year-old man told authorities that dozed off at his Holt Road home about 8 p.m. and woke up at 11 p.m. Wednesday and discovered the problem, said Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely.

He drove himself to Athens-Limestone Hospital, where a doctor removed the needle.

The man told deputies that he couldn't remember his ex-girlfriend's last name and that he didn't wake up when the needle was inserted, Blakely said.

Blakely said he and his chief investigator have been trying to contact the man for further questioning but have been unable to because of two recent deputy-involved shootings, one in Limestone County and another in Huntsville.

Blakely's office is investigating the Wednesday night shooting involving the Madison County Sheriff's Department.

"We haven't been able to contact him since then," Blakely said, "but we would like to talk to him again."

Drugs could not possibly have been involved with this story. 

Is it just me or does this story need to go to Fark?


Ah, my people. Fark DEFINITELY need to get their hands on this one, because that's just hilarious. And wrong, very, very wrong.

Well, it may not have made Fark, but it made Countdown with Keith Olbermann two days ago. :)

There has been some debate online about whether, ah, this was a cross-wise or an axial insertion.


Want your brain to well and truly explode (consider yourself warned, BTW)? Do a bit of Googling for the term "sounding."