"Utterly meaningless!

Everything is meaningless!"

Ecclesiastes 1:2

While most people are amazed at the sheer volume of attempted pickups I see through instant messenging systems, I'm not. Matthew describes it as being like telemarketing; men target a specific demographic over and over because someone, out there, is biting.

count to five, then crotch-dive

Hey, baby, let's check me out. According to yahoo, this is me:

Nickname: domesticat (meow.)

Location: Huntsville, AL

Marital Status: Married

Gender: Female

...accompanied by a photo of Edmund.

(see full profile for yourself)

Sexual healing? Not on THIS planet.

Remember, friends: those who have nothing better to do than to hit on random women online should be treated like telemarketers. If you've got more pressing issues to attend to, by all means amputate their noxious presence as quickly as possible.


Not busy? Bored? Claws needing a touch of sharpen? Best thing you can do for your fellow mortals is to toy with your New Special Friend a bit. Every minute you tie them up in conversation is a minute a) they have to actually interact with another human being and b) they don't get to spend hitting up some other poor sap who probably doesn't have half your backbone.

Think of it as doing something good for the species.

Bisexual Hot Chicks and the Porn Principle

Wow! Gentle readers, we have yet another winner in the "pester me once and I'll ignore you, pester me twice, and I post your words on my website and my friends make ruthless fun of you" category known as "stupid IM transcripts." That and, quite frankly, it's a Monday, and as we all know, at least 90% of all funny jokes are not funny on Mondays.

Thus, we do what we must to make the Monday bearable.

Are you looking for a secret encounter?

It's just criminal, these days - a girl can't even settle in to write a good chunk of PHP without being asked if she wants to have an affair. Whatever is the world coming to? How will I ever manage to get this silly alphabetizing function to work properly?

Today's winner is Yahoo account jon4hotfunn, whose profile (or complete and utter lack of it) can be found here - perhaps we should all say hello?

Transcript: 'completely scientifical'

Everyone needs some Monday morning humor. Unsurprisingly, mine came from yet another Huntsville-area native who felt the need to be, well, inane.

I admit it. I'm old school. I post a link to my website in my profile. If you haven't even looked at it prior to contacting me, it's going to show. Questions like "how are you?" are questions that will be honestly answered if they're asked by a friend. "How are you?", when asked as an opening gambit because you don't know anything else about me, virtually guarantees that you've gotten off on the wrong foot.