I'm a $29 oil painting!

Let us consider the conundrum of yahoo user readyfornew2, consider it seriously as a single example of a greater sociological problem:

I'm talking about idiocy, of course. Bloody pandemic, really.

Call for topics for Anthrax Writing Week

You, too, can influence the spin of entries presented on!

In honor of my recent hate-mailer, I'd like to announce a call for topics for the "Cynthia Singler Miura presents the Anthrax Writing Week." Topic suggestions should be short, preferably with satirical promise. Bonus points and extra consideration will be given to topics with relevance to the original email.

Extra bonus points and scritchies for topic suggestions so ludicrous that they make me snort out loud and say, "Oh yes, I have to write about that."

all tags: 

From the mailbag

Since I believe in letting everyone stand on their own words around here, I'll share what I just found in my inbox. The name and email address are unchanged. I see no reason to obscure the sender's identity.

Toilet paper will not save you

Text message sent to friends this afternoon:

All of HSV is at Wal-Mart. You'd think nobody here had ever heard of a tornado before! Hint: toilet paper WILL NOT SAVE YOU.

A few minutes later, a reply from Suzan:

No, but it will cover your ass!

Avoid the friction burn! (not worksafe)

Take the bait, baby. No, bite a little deeper, honey; sink that hook allllllllllll the way in. Yes, show me your pustulent little orifice. I don't have all night, and I want to get back to my knitting.

my PENOS very beautiful

Every now and then, I get a random IM'er whose attempts at … conversation … are so random that I just can't come up with anything funnier to say than what s/he said to me in the first place.Hey, why are you laughing? I'm serious here!

Tonight's winner is compiled over three days of conversations. I ignored him the first two times but the third time, I just couldn't resist testing the waters to see if this was a bot. I think it was. Or a 2 Live Crew song gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Read on:

[01:58] dr_khaled_elswaf2005: this is your picture