Bisexual Hot Chicks and the Porn Principle

Wow! Gentle readers, we have yet another winner in the "pester me once and I'll ignore you, pester me twice, and I post your words on my website and my friends make ruthless fun of you" category known as "stupid IM transcripts." That and, quite frankly, it's a Monday, and as we all know, at least 90% of all funny jokes are not funny on Mondays.

Thus, we do what we must to make the Monday bearable.

In sickness and in stealth

Day One: attempt to die of unknown stomach ailment (currently assumed to be food poisoning). Fail miserably. Day Two: Attempt recovery. Most of said 'attempt' involved the regular ingestion of aspirin to make my body believe that its true temperature was closer to 98.6°F than 101.2°F.

Memo: wings STILL not cool

Here's hoping that the 'rice' section of the site takes on a life of its own. After I started posting photos of the excruciatingly dumb things that people willingly do to their cars, Jeremy immediately piped up and said, "I have a couple of photos for you…"

…and what winners they are!


Put your E's where the speed ain't

Were it even remotely steamy, it could be called something along the lines of a rendezvous, but let's be realistic about who we're talking about here. Me. Instead, this afternoon could best be termed "sneaking off to see a movie with a fellow movie geek." I don't exactly specialize in salacious excitement (if that hasn't become blatantly obvious by now, there's just no teaching you).

Are you looking for a secret encounter?

It's just criminal, these days - a girl can't even settle in to write a good chunk of PHP without being asked if she wants to have an affair. Whatever is the world coming to? How will I ever manage to get this silly alphabetizing function to work properly?

Today's winner is Yahoo account jon4hotfunn, whose profile (or complete and utter lack of it) can be found here - perhaps we should all say hello?

Transcript: 'completely scientifical'

Everyone needs some Monday morning humor. Unsurprisingly, mine came from yet another Huntsville-area native who felt the need to be, well, inane.

I admit it. I'm old school. I post a link to my website in my profile. If you haven't even looked at it prior to contacting me, it's going to show. Questions like "how are you?" are questions that will be honestly answered if they're asked by a friend. "How are you?", when asked as an opening gambit because you don't know anything else about me, virtually guarantees that you've gotten off on the wrong foot.